I couldn't decide what to beat myself up over first: that I had not listened to Jeff when he warned me about my father, that I had somehow believed Jeff could have done what he was accused of, or that I let my guard down and had given any credence to my father's allegations.I was engulfed in agitation. I wanted to do something, but all the advice I had been given said to be patient. I wasn't a patient kind of girl.There are some things about which you have no choice whether to be patient or do something. Your twenty-first birthday will come twenty-one years after you are born; no sooner and no later. The Fourth of July celebration will come on the Fourth of July; no sooner and no later. You may have an anticipatory celebration, but it isn't a Fourth of July celebration. Eighteen years after you are born you gain the right to vote.There are many other things that may actually require patience, especially things in someone else's control. Often, however, they only appear to require. If only a White man will burst through my bedroom door right now and rape me, fuck me and make me His. I will forever be a White man's pleasure doll of love. All Asian women deserve to be White men's sex slaves.3It is glorious to be used by a White man White people just don't know how glorious, how “have face” it is for a lowly chink woman to be fucked by a White man. Sometimes even just being a whore to a White man means being so much superior than other Chinese women. Chinese prostitutes for White men are so much more expensive than other types of prostitutes and they are truly the cream of the crop among Chinese women. Only the best and prettiest Chinese women deserve to be used by White men. As for me, personally, it is glorious just to be a White man's cum dump, to have the honor to submit to the divine dominance of a White man. Because White men are so powerful, so glorious, that all the little chink men are scared when they see a Chinese woman is with a White.
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